Just wanted to post my 'minor' success story of relationship with my ex after divorce. I married Andy (the love of my life) at 18 years old and we were together 8 years. Then he left but never quite properly - still maintained sexual relationship and to some extent friendship. He said he'd come back numerous ocassions and then backtracked. I hit the floor and got depression pretty badly. I was having a baby in the middle of all this (his baby). He took our older kids (without my permission) and started up a custody battle. Then I found a counsellor similar to this divorce busting stuff and he basically saved my life. Taught me '180' and other things like that. Ex was interested straight away and we got into this relationship which lasted several months, then he backtracked again and I hit the floor even worse. Went to court over the kids - I lost because of the depression (but kept the baby). As you can imagine, this didn't do a thing for the marriage. I then decided to do a complete 180 and I walked out of his life completely - including the children's - some might say this is bad but I had to as our lives were in total tatters, court action, my family disowned me etc. So I said 'fine, I'm going' and I did. He got another woman straight away (I knew for concilation purposes) and I did my best to ignore her also. It was AWFUL having this woman come to my house to pick up the baby, knowing she was with MY husband. I tell you, I was in bed, sobbing for 2 days when I found out (another thing, I lost my virginity to my husband and he did to me so this was really major). Carried on ignoring him, then 2 months after the final court hearing, he turns up on my doorstep, saying 'I miss you, I miss your friendship, I miss your sex' etc. He hugged me and cried (he doesn't cry hardly at all). Then at Christmas last year he turned up again and said 'Happy wedding anniversary' (it was 9 years married, 11 years in relationship) - this was just before the decree absolute came through. He'd come round for 'chats' 2 hours at a time (he instigated it). I have started seeing my other kids again and I am now sleeping with ex. He says he is thinking of getting back together but he isn't sure. We were divorced on 21st December 04. He was talking about hand-fasting ceremonies and getting a vasectomy so we don't have anymore kids. He texts me all the time and goes on msn, but when I suggest something he gets scared. This marriage is definitely not over even if the paper says so. I need moral support from people to get me through these next few months of uncertainity.
Jo
In relationship since February 94 Married 16 December 95 Divorced 21 December 04 Still seeing each other. Mother of 4 girls.
