So you've been carrying on a relationship with another woman, the details of which are currently unknown, and unbeknownst to your wife, while you blasted her for not keeping her promises to you over the years. You've kept this R secret and it was only revealed because HER spyware trumped YOUR spyware.
Do you see why we strangers on this bb (let alone your wife) are having a hard time believing that character means as much to you as you say it does?