There have been a lot of times when I wanted to act like I couldn't talk right now, but I just cannot seem to do it. I don't want to hurt his feelings and I know he would act like his feelings are hurt or get angry if I do that. Geez, this is hard. I would like some new clothes. I was on the "DB diet" for a few months and lost a lot of weight and really liked the way I looked in any clothes. But now I am gaining it back and I'm not so happy with clothes. I am back to being self conscious about my looks. I'm not fat just about 15 pounds overweight and I don't like it. I know how to lose it cuz I lost 40 pounds 3 years ago and kept it off until now. Not helping my self esteem at all! My H is quite over weight but his physical appearance doesn't bother me. I'm more concerned about his health.

I would like to do something different with me though. Maybe one of those spray on tans! I wouldn't go to a tanning bed cuz I've had a few carcinomas removed. I've always kinda wanted to get my nails done too. I'll have to think about this--thanks Akgal, I appreciate your ideas!

I went back to Alanon a few months back. I kinda quit it when I started DBing. My first H is an alcoholic and I spent years at Alanon.