HappyMomo, You are rightyo, my friend, GEL is dear, sweet, and a whole lot of other great things. But you probably already know that, lol.
I don't mind the sun sometime
The images it shows
I can taste you on my lips
And smell you in my clothes
Cinnamon and Sugar
And softly spoken lies
You never know just how you look
Through someone elses eyes
BHS-"Pepper"
Lassie, There was a great deal flying out of STL to OK last week. I briefly thought that I should grab the honeybaby and get the heck outta dodge and knock a couple beers back with my good friend GEL. If I'd known there were two HD's wives to join me, I think I would have done it!
This is going to sound really dumb, but he drank an entire bottle of wine in front of me every night. Sometimes two bottles. Duh. I just wouldn't let myself comprehend what was going on. I lied to myself. It's that simple. It was one of the ways I abandoned myself.
I started going to a counselor who specializes in alcoholism to learn how to talk to him. This counselor painted a VERY black picture of our future together. At this point I was still rationalizing and lying to myself. We went on a week trip to see my stepson and bf did not drink at all. I took this as a positive sign, but when we got home, he drank more than ever. Here the convenience stores stop selling beer and wine at 11 pm on Saturdays, and I remember one night he was looking at the clock and said, "I'm getting really anxious because I've drunk everything in the house, and it's almost 11:00." I did set a boundary somewhere in here where I said, "No wine or liquor at my house." He got mad, but he held to that.
Finally I came down with shingles and was immobilized for about a week. During that week, he cared for me, made me soup, etc., and went through a GALLON of Scotch in five days. Even I couldn't ignore that!
I moved out. He said he would switch to beer. He got drunk slower on beer and was a bit easier to be around. On the wine, he often had hallucinations. I had come out of a marriage that had many, many medical emergencies, and I just lived in emergency mode. My thermostat that should have said: "Stop! Too much! You don't have to put up with that!" was broken.
For the next year, he drank only beer-- but it was a sixpack (or two) EVERY NIGHT. Finally one day, he experienced chest pains while mowing the lawn. I insisted on taking him to the ER. A week later he had quad bypass surgery. After the multiple hospitalizations I had experienced with my late husband (20 in 10 years), I was back into invincible-caretaker mode. While he was in the hospital recovering from the heart surgery (thanks to my quick action, he did not have a heart attack, and his heart was not damaged), I said, NO MORE ALCOHOL. Non-negotiable. Period. Or I'm gone. He bought one bottle of wine, thinking he could be one of those people who has a glass of wine every night. When he went back to the hospital for something, I poured it down the drain. When he asked me what happened to it, I said, "I drank it." I had been going to alanon for a while and it really helped.
But I could not see myself spending the next few months, years, etc., counting his empties. This will make you NUTS.
Thank you for letting me piggyback on your thread. Whenever I start threads of my own, they seem to die out pretty soon. I appreciate your inquiries.
