I think the rest might be too much too soon. You will know if this is the case or not.
I would start small and build on those successes. Otherwise he will have a built in excuse for why he doesn't want to put much effort into it--"It's too hard", he'll say. "I'm too tired", he'll whine.
My advice is to start small, surprise him a few times, build on the small successes and then jointly plan a night where you wait up with candles lit, etc. That way, you can both anticipate it.
Here is my list of goals, just so you know what I was talking about: 1. Respond warmly when he initiates affection, even if I am busy. If it means putting one (or more, lol) of the kids down, that's ok. **I wrote this one because I had a tendency to stand there and soak up his attention without letting him know how much I was enjoying it. I didn't ever push him away but I didn't let on just how much it meant to me.** 2. Positive Feedback **Tell him when he does something I like. If I can't at that moment, I send him an email the next day. I will say, "ooh I liked that, thank you!" 3. Positive Explanations **Look for positive explanations for his behavior, instead of jumping to the easiest conclusion. For instance, I will whack myself and say "he's genuinely tired because D2 got him up twice last night" instead of saying "He's boring".** 4. Blatant Initiation **Do an all out initiation, like what you were describing. Mom, feel free to blast me for this one but it is the ONLY one on the list that I haven't accomplished yet. Whack whack! Btw, I have both good and bad excuses so be prepared, lol.** 5. X's and O's **He asked me several years ago to initiate more affection. As I said earlier, I like the Man Pursues Woman scenario and it was hard for me to remember to pursue him with affection, so I made it a goal.**
That's it.
I have to say I've been pretty successful with all of them, with the exception of the Wowzer Sex Initiation. I have sucked rotten eggs with that one. Part of it is that we have little kids who constantly ruin our opportunities with either their presence or their germs (they get sick a lot) and the other part of it is that I, myself, have been ill for 2 months and our sex life is suffering. I wrote these goals in November I think.
However, even taking all that other stuff away, the idea of a Wowzer Initiation scares the hell outta me. I've done it before and been rejected every single time. I think things would turn out better now, but I can't seem to shake the heebie jeebies.
