I've heard about this website from a dear sweet friend - and thanks for that you guys seem very sincere and helpful. My sitch: Me 38 (ouch), H 43 S 5, D 1.5 We've been married for 7 years and dated 3 prior to that. I love this man with all my heart. His mother more or less lives with us as we have built her a home 30-ft from ours that is connected. I have been married before, not necessarily making bad judgments, just got married to be married because I thought I was supposed to. I came from a VERY disfunctional home by all standards and was desparately seeking to have that perfect family. Couple of marriages and learning lessons later..... Married to a great man - he was almost quite literally raised in Mayberry so to say we come from different backgrounds - YES! He's a good man, so if I go into a rant here, please know I do know this fact. And now the reason for my discontent:
Okay, sex-starved yes and no. I love sex, and would love a more passionate LM with my husband. He, however granny kisses me and talks about housechores or such as foreplay (yes guys I understand why he does this but stilllllll). So I find myself putting off sex because well, it's boring. To strain it even further our kids sleep in the same bed with us - my Christmas present a couple of years back was a KS bed. My son has a medical condition so for right now this is the situation we are most comfortable with. So sex is scheduled around nap and bed times. Our relationship, my POV, needs much work.
He says I'm "no maintenance" (and that's the way he treats me) I try and correct him with I'm "low maintenance" but right now I am feel like I'm ranking quite high! I was a stay-at-home mom who recently went back to work and we are working different shifts to keep kids out of day care. Therefore I see H on weekends only but he calls (alot) during the day. I wish he'd give me a chance just to miss him. I know that last sentence just contradicted the maintenance issue - but I am looking for romance, not a call about whether or not he feels good today.
I have tried in the past to talk with him about desires, etc., and his only comment was that "yes I KNOW what you want" sounding like I am asking for something dirty or something. Don't get me wrong, sweet sex is great but there comes a time when you want to light up the sky and right now I'm stuck there wanting that.
We are still working out the transition to the new day routine with me working so I understand alot of our problems are stemming from that. I feel like he lets his mother carry his parenthood load (he's an only child and that is the relationship they have - that's a whole other matter) But we are stuck needing to work on our relationship and he says he's perfectly happy where we are but how can he be when I'm grasping at straws. I would never leave him but find myself daydreaming forbidden love, if you know what I mean.
How do I/we move from this point. I am trying to put on a game face and act like the perfect doding wife showering him with affection hoping he will too but not real confident in this direction.
