I enjoy touching you. I know that you have told me you particularily like it when I touch you as only I can outside the bedroom (how's that for saying it when others are reading it?). I want to touch you in ways that make you know I love you.
1) Do you want me to touch you at all on the neck, arms, bottom, etc.? I've been confused about this as I've heard you say several different things?
2) At one time when I was "touching" you everyday for a while, you wanted me to stop. I don't know why that was. Do you remember? Why was it? What did I do that made you not want me to keep touching you?
3) I get mixed signals about your enjoyment of me kissing you. Then sometimes because of this as well as other forms of touching...you just want me to stop..you pull away and don't tell me why. Do you think we could get to the point in our R that you could be honest with me right away and you initiate and tell me what it is that is going on..so that I can learn and it can be fixed. Do you think that maybe AT SOME POINT down the road there would be the possiblity of communicating right then and then being able to forgive and go on...and it just being a bump in the road? No rush..just possibly some day.
4) There are times that your tone of voice sounds harsh to me. It hurts me the way that you answer me. Frequently the tone of your voice in answering me is impatient and condescending. I'm even sorry I asked. I don't say anything because I don't want to be complaining. Is this something we could talk about sometime?
5) I do remember saying that about our week being peacful without you. There were a lot of arguments between us at that time and it was wonderful to have laughter and joy. Do I enjoy life without the B that I know and love...no. Was it pressure free not having arguing for a few days..yes. It was just a comment for that week based on what was happening. I love being with you, spending time with you and our family. That's what I enjoy when there is no undercurrent or arguing. I apologize for any hurt those comments brought to you. Please forgive me.
6) As for fixing up. What do you want? Sometimes I have done extra things even a new outfit...no comments. The kids notice..even comment on new hair. It's ok, I've learned to laugh to myself and not let it bother me. What are you looking for with flirting? LIke how I ran my foot up your leg to your ??? at a restaurant a few months ago? Or??? Have you wanted any of this from me in the past few months? Please answer this question.
7) Ok. I'll ask for what I need help with. There are many times that you do so willingly and I appreciate it. I know there are times you don't want to as you don't exactly say words, but moan or groan when asked..like I am your mother. I usually quit asking after this. However, I'll just ignore it, I suppose. Is that what you suggest? I don't blame you for not wanting to help. Who does? Not me either. I'll admit it makes me angry..because then I feel like your mother. I don't feel very sexy being your mom.
8) I said something about not losing my patience on another post and James John said that when I learned to never feel overwhelmed or get impatient to write a book as to how it was done...I'll be a multi-millionaire. I'm not looking for an out. My desire to control my mouth is for me, believe it or not, and not you. I don't wish to offend you...but I'm not doing it to please you, I'm doing it for personal growth. That gives me more incentive. However, I cannot promise that I will be perfect and not feel overwhelmed. I mean can you promise that you will never get impatient with us again? Can anyone? I think that is what you want me to say...and I think it is too high of an expectation and a promise I cannot fulfill.
If you or anyone else here wants to throw rocks at me for being unable to promise that. So be it. I agree 100% with Mrs. Nop..I will never call you a liar again. Now that I can agree to. That I can control. There are many items of this magniture and nature that are very hurtful that I will not do. No problemo...I've also promised not to bring up certain things of the past...I have not..since I promised you..I have not...I control that. I choose to. It is a big thing that matters and can be controlled. I choose to do it and I do.
So now this is huge long post. Good luck answering this!
