What happens now?

[ValerieA]

Thanks, BlondeQT. I've been following your sitch. I understand what you're going through right now. I was there not too far back myself, having to hear the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" thing. I know just how much that hurts. The majority of us here all know it too well. But just like NY said, pay absolutely no attention to it. It's just what the WAS FEELS at the moment. Hang in there, sweetie. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you will get through this. I often have to tell myself that, too.

Well, did I call it or what? H got home tonight as I suspected. I had no expectations when I heard him come through the door. Good thing, too, since he didn't come to me in the same way as last time. The kids ran to him when he got here. They were so happy to see their daddy home! I simply said, "Hey! Daddy surprised us! He's home early! Hi!" H just said "hi" (to me). Yeah, I'm a bit disappointed, but I'll live.

We watched TV for a little bit, and H told me a little about work. He just left to go to the gym for an hour or so. Before he left, H said, "I'm going to the gym. I actually wanted to go play cards tonight, but I figured you'd throw a fit, so forget it." I looked at him and said nicely and calmly, "Could you please stop ASSuming that I'll throw a fit every time you want to go do somethimg by yourself?" H walked away saying, "I'll see you when I get back from the gym."

Yes, the old me used to get upset when H wanted to always go do something when he knew I couldn't go since we didn't have a babysitter. So he would stay home, too, but he would keep saying things like, "Damn, I really wanted to go" or "I wish we had a sitter. I want to go out." He would do it so much that I would finally tell him to just go so he would shut up! I'm almost definitely sure he would do this to get me to let him go by himself. I know. Now I'm ASSuming, but it happened that way too many times. Well, he has done this a few times since I've read DR, and now the new me lets him go without grief. Don't get me wrong. I wish he would stay home with me, but what good will it do if he chooses to act like a baby again? "But, Mommy, I want it! I want it! I want it! WAAAAAAAAAAA!" So, we'll see what happens when he gets back from the gym later. Seeing that he's been gone for a week, I'm hoping he'll stay home and at least try to be happy.

Thanks for listening.