Ok, I thought I was going to have more time at home to myself to get over the calls before H returns from Fresno, but H just called and it looks like he will be coming home in the next day or two. I wasn't expecting him back for another 8 days. I've been burning up inside about the calls off and on throughout the weekend. We've had beautiful weather here for the past several days, so I took the kids to the park a few times this weekend. I'd forget our troubles while playing with the kids, but then I'd see a dad playing around with his kids, or I'd see a H and his W holding hands while walking with their children, and I can't help but think to myself, "Look at them. They are so happy. They are so lucky. She loves him, and he really loves her." That's all I ever wanted. To just be happy. Why did he have to do this to me? Why did he have to go and have an affair? I wish he could have just told me he wasn't happy and wanted a D. Yes, it still would've hurt a lot, but I would've much rather dealt with that than this.
I'm sorry. I just needed to vent, and writing/typing helps me. I really hope I can hold it together when he gets here. You have no idea just how hard this is for me to keep quiet about the calls. I'm trying though. I'm really trying.
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
