I believe everyone deserves a hug everyday. NY, please consider my words as your very well deserved hug!
Things went ok today. I stuck to my "act as if" attitude with no expectations. H did alright himself for most of the day, but while I was getting dressed this morning, he came and sat in front of me on the bed, put his forehead against my stomach, and began to cry. I didn't ask what was wrong because I sensed it was more feelings of guilt and self-loathing. So I just kept rubbing his back and shoulders and stroking his hair to soothe him. After a few minutes, I told him to look at me. When he did, I told him, "I love you, H... and I forgive you. You are my H, and we will get through this together. Day by day, ok?" I wanted to cry with him, but I knew it wouldn't help, so luckily I was able to hold back.
Just a little more rambling, but it feels good to get my thoughts out. Thanks for listening!
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
