What happens now?

[sage]

H went on to say that he misses what we had, and since I've been acting like a different person (being brief with him, acting like nothing's wrong, etc.), he feels like I'm moving on without him.

Perhaps you've backed off too much?

The notion in D'ing of "not pursuing" suggests that you don't get ahead of your S in the reconciliation process, right? But, sometimes I think we get stuck in that mode and think that means we can't return warmth, good feelings, etc, when our Ses have them. It sounds to me like your reserve (understandable) is making h feel as though he doesn't have a shot. How could you open up to him a bit (without pursuing R talk?) and without coming off as "pursuing"? One thing that really worked in my sitch was being very warm and open and companionable with h but not talking about the future unless he brought it up...so, I was "in the moment" of validating his increasing warmth towards me w/o making it appear that I was banking on a future with him...it was a tough line to walk but it kept the pressure off of him but also created some very positive times for us.

What do you and h enjoy doing? When he gets back home, I suggest some of that!

Sage