What happens now?

[ValerieA]

Hello, everyone. Here's an update:

I haven't talked to H since yesterday morning when he called. I know I'm not supposed to have R talks, but H was really pushing it. H was telling me, again, that I deserve to be with someone who will love me. Does this mean he doesn't anymore and is leaning towards not staying together?

H went on to say that he misses what we had, and since I've been acting like a different person (being brief with him, acting like nothing's wrong, etc.), he feels like I'm moving on without him. Well, here's where I backslid. I got a little emotional and told him that I miss what we had together, too. I recalled the last time I felt he truly loved me was when I was 7 - 8 months pregnant with our last child. He'd be gone for 2 weeks at a time and as soon as he walked through the door, I was right there to greet him. He was all I wanted to see, he was all I wanted to touch, and he was all I wanted in my life right at that very moment. When we would hug and kiss, I knew he felt the same. I told him I miss that love. He asked me to stop before he would start to cry, so I did my best to pull myself back together. We talked for a few more minutes. Then H had to get back to work, and he hasn't called me since.

I'm feeling very unsure and almost nervous right now. H will be here in less than 24 hours, and I don't know what's going to happen.

Thanks for listening.