Quote: when I found out H was still having contact with OW and confronted him about it, he said...I want a divorce."... H began to say he was so sorry, and he didn't mean what he said. He really didn't want a D.
It would look like his threat of a divorce was as false bravado, and when you called his bluff, he backed down.
You guys should be reconciliated by Monday morning the latest, really, you know?
OK, I'm going to go out on a limb and assess this, against my better judgment about making assumptions and everything, and say it again:
He wants back in, he's afraid he's losing you, he doesn't want to lose you, but he's lost his way. He doesn't know just how to take losing face and come back. Maybe that's what he's confused about. That's the sense I get about him, but I could be really wrong. But that's why I was saying don't be enthusiastic toward him, but reserved and yet encourage him subtly in order for him to be able to see how to guide and ease his way back in without losing face, because I think he needs that from you. He needs to feel comfortable drawing closer to you. Everything I wrote about how it's like a street cat cautiously approaching the food in your hand, the animal hesitant but wanting to walk into the cage, that's how I get the sense he feels. The key is that HE'S got to feel comfortable drawing closer. You keep your nose in the newspaper and tell him dinner's in the oven. Then let him sit down at the table with you and eat, and get comfortable eating with you nearby, you know what I mean? I may be totally wrong, but do you want to give that approach a try until Monday morning?
