I'm not trying to run up your credit cards but go get a copy of "Surviving an Affair", by Willard Harley & Jennifer Harley Chalmers. It has a real life case study that runs through each chapter of the book that almost mirrors my situation w/my WAW. It has really helped me.
It shows that as soon as the affair is out in the light of day, the reality starts to hit. No longer is the excitement of the secrecy and the infatuation there. Now they start to see that their new partner (OP) is not perfect (digs in their ear with a key, picks their nose, can't balance a checkbook, doesn't like kids, etc.)
Now at the same time, your WAS sees you moving on. You are a better person, you are getting a life, you may want them but you don't need them. This makes them start to question the very decisions they made.
Read DR first, that is your rock. When you're done, read it again.
