I called the OW and ended up getting a warrant against me. She claimed I threatened her but I didn't! I didn't get anything out of it except that I have to stay away from her and the courts are going to revisit it in April. All I did was call her up and leave a message letting her know that I had talked to her H and he told me that she's still wanting to work things out with him and yet she's still sleeping with my H. Guess it didn't go over to well that I had this information. Funny thing is, she's still doing it...burning both ends of the candle.
I think it's great that you are fixing up. Have you thought about making any subtle changes? Get your eyebrows waxed if you don't already shape them up. What about a highlight for your hair or a little different cut. A new top that isn't part of your normal style, different for you but flattering. It's kind of like underwear. I use to wear plain cotton briefs, my H flipped one night when he discovered that I had on a pair of black lacy ones. He loved it and when he asked me what possessed me to do that I said very simply "You". That was a long time ago, but his reaction to me stuck in my mind. Sounds silly I know, but anything is worth a try....Right?
The I love you but I'm not in love with you line comes from the fact that he does love you but doesn't have ALL of the wonderful feelings that come along with it. At least that's what I believe. Love might be a special look you only have for your S. It's the 'warm fuzzy's' that you feel for lack of a better term at this moment. It is something that wears off with time and neglect. It's not the end of the world though, you just have to work to bring that spark back into life and love. He's lost the spark somewhere and you guys need a jump start. Yes, I know that this is hard with small children, I have two of my own. It's not an excuse though for letting things die. I have seen things like this happen where children come along and within a year of the first being born the quality of love diminishes and gets focused on the children. Yes, children are the world and the future but if you are to maintain a future with your S then you need to have them to be you're world as well. There is room for both, MAKE room for both. I didn't have a lot of help with my babies and with the first one I worked swing shift opposite of my H. This put serious strain on us but we recovered well that summer. We did silly stupid things like move the CD player out into the yard and danced to old classic country songs that we both grew up on. The kids were there running around and having a blast watching mommy and daddy loving each other by dancing and acting silly and having so much fun. I miss those times but even now they make me love my H more than I ever have. No matter that he's gone, my love is strong. You don't have to do this all of the time, just make sure you do it frequently enough to hold you over to the next time. I'd recommend at least every two weeks. These are the things that keep you 'in love' with each other. Simple, silly, stupid, wonderful things that may not make a lick of sense to anyone else but are everything to the two of you. Maybe you've already thought of all of this and I'm sorry for rambling. I hope this helps explain the love you verses not in love with you statement.
