It hurts and will continue to hurt. It is a rollercoaster ride your are on and will be on for awhile. It does get easier with time.
You are right about this taking time. It will take time, a lot of time and patience.
Keep coming to this board. It helps, it helps a lot. Read other threads, that helps, too.
Get the book Divorce Remedy if you haven't already.
It is okay to cry. Just don't let your H see you cry. Do not beg, plead, or cry in front of your H. Do it while he is gone or on this board. This pushes them away. Believe me I know from personal experience. It does not help.
Your H is not thinking like you and not seeing things the way you do. He is in a completely different place than you right now. You can't even begin to understand it, so don't try. It will drive you crazy. He will do and say things that will hurt. Do not believe what he says and only half of what he does.
Think of some things you could do differently. I know he is the one who has done this, not you. But, honestly look at yourself and see what things you could have done that contributed to the problems in the M. Change those things (180's). Try to act normal and happy around H.
The point is to get H to notice these things and to build that love again. You have to do the work and hopefully one day he will be back in the M with you and in love with you.
