H seems to be in a slump or maybe its just me...and thinking 2much!! Hee hee... We started softball last nite. We kicked butt and had fun! But last year when we played, H was in EA. He might be thinking of that OR, the reunion...could have been a reason for him to email OW and now they are talking again. So now shes on his mind AGAIN! BUT---could all just be me.. I am thinking about all of this stuff and little things that I wouldnt even notice with H before just seem more noticeable, because I am searching for some different type of behavior. WOW...what a messed up mind!!
Better list the positives before I get all freaked out! 1. H was so nice during the game...was trying to help me out and did it in a nice tone...hard to explain, but he was just different in explaining himself instead of just yelling at me...really different for him. 2. H "sort of" held my hand last nite in bed...itty bitty baby steps! 3. After softball, we went out to eat with friend and then came home...had good conversations.
Last year our first softball game, H ended up in the hospital with a ruptured spleen. I was there for him EVERY waking moment and he was really scared, because he had never been in the hospital before. I stayed by his side, slept there each nite and even pushed my chair close enough so that I could hold his hand until he went to sleep. God, it almost makes me cry, thinking that if I hadnt taken him to the ER, he could have bleed to death....I remember feeling so much love for him at the time, even knowing that he was with OW. But was she there? NO..it was me...and I just hope he remembers that part too!
