If you have a chance, you should go. You're beautiful and in great shape, you have nothing to worry about. If you got it flaunt it. Just don't drink-he he he.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
Thanks guys...yea, I would love to go and "shine"! Sh@@! Half of his friends have hot on me in the past year, so I KNOW I look good! But its all about if he even ASKS me to go along. He doesnt even want to ask me to go to his cousins graduation party for gosh sakes! Who knows, he hasnt mentioned it again..guess I will just have to wait and see...
Found this on Cainer horoscope...its for all of us!! Saturday, 7th May 2005 Your week ahead The dark of the Moon is upon us once more. It's not just 'glimpses of the future' that can be attained during the Moon's 'invisible phase'. It is also supposed to be a time when we can banish old problems and embrace new possiblities. Physical wounds can be more easily healed and emotional scars can be soothed. To work your own New Moon magic, just find a few peaceful minutes to reflect. Then carefully 'pour' your brightest hope into the inner cauldron of your emotions. According to tradition, when the Moon, re-emerges it will then 'carry your wish' with it. Over the following 28 days, it should subtly broadcast your need into the minds of those who are best positioned to help you, while they are sleeping and dreaming.
H seems to be in a slump or maybe its just me...and thinking 2much!! Hee hee... We started softball last nite. We kicked butt and had fun! But last year when we played, H was in EA. He might be thinking of that OR, the reunion...could have been a reason for him to email OW and now they are talking again. So now shes on his mind AGAIN! BUT---could all just be me.. I am thinking about all of this stuff and little things that I wouldnt even notice with H before just seem more noticeable, because I am searching for some different type of behavior. WOW...what a messed up mind!!
Better list the positives before I get all freaked out! 1. H was so nice during the game...was trying to help me out and did it in a nice tone...hard to explain, but he was just different in explaining himself instead of just yelling at me...really different for him. 2. H "sort of" held my hand last nite in bed...itty bitty baby steps! 3. After softball, we went out to eat with friend and then came home...had good conversations.
Last year our first softball game, H ended up in the hospital with a ruptured spleen. I was there for him EVERY waking moment and he was really scared, because he had never been in the hospital before. I stayed by his side, slept there each nite and even pushed my chair close enough so that I could hold his hand until he went to sleep. God, it almost makes me cry, thinking that if I hadnt taken him to the ER, he could have bleed to death....I remember feeling so much love for him at the time, even knowing that he was with OW. But was she there? NO..it was me...and I just hope he remembers that part too!
THIS is where I need to come to vent, right? I HATE being second choice ALL the time. I HATE that H doesnt realize how much it hurts me when he makes me feel like he doesnt like spending time with me!!
Maybe its just me....I dont know. Here's what happened...H and I have plans to go out tonight with another couple. He went golfing with friend this afternoon and I texted him what time we were going tonite and where. Well, he calls a bit later and asks if they were going to cancel on us (last 2x we have made plans with other couples, we got cancelled on) anyways, so I said no. I then said, why, dont u want to go? and he says well, I was just thinking that if they cancelled I would probably just stay here and go out. NICE !!!! Why couldnt he just think, well if they cancel, W and I could just go out for while. NOPE..all about those DA## friends of his. Why cant he hang out with friends who have GF or W..OH YEA..he doesnt have any that have GF or W!!! Says a lot for his friends huh?? Im sorry, but I get sooooooooooo angry and it hurts so much!!!
Funny thing is, I thought when we moved to CO away from his single friends back home, things would get better. Who would have guessed that he would have all single friends here too!! Is that what his desire is? To be single again?? Should I tell him that 2 of his good friends have hit on me in the past year?? Wonder what he would think of that?? I bet if I asked any one of his single friends (all of them are 27+ yrs old)they would say how much they wish they had a wife as good as I am or to at least have someone to spend some time with!
I am so emotional today...wonder why?? Everything makes me want to cry or scream and yell!
I hate to say it, gf, but this was your first mistake. After you told him no, that they weren't going to cancel, you should have just left it at that. It never would have led to the rest of the conversation.
I also don't want to sound like a rat, but I know I always get more emotionally charged right before my period. Could that be contributing to how you are feeling?
My .02, fwiw.
Try to go out and have some fun tonight, okay? Put this behind you and move ahead.
Yes, you're right Martha, I should have stopped..but I didnt. Its hard to hold every emotion in all the time!!!
Nope, not close to that time, so cant use that as an excuse..used it a week ago...
Well, drinking wine, lifting weights and crying my eyes out...great afternoon for me!!
Listened to a song by Martina McBride which explains where I am about at:
How far do I have to go to make you understand I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are So I'm gonna walk away And it's up to you to say how far
There's a chance I could change my mind But I won't, not till you decide What you want, what you need Do you even care if I stay or leave Oh, what's it gonna be...
But its all about if he even ASKS me to go along. He doesnt even want to ask me to go to his cousins graduation party for gosh sakes! Who knows, he hasnt mentioned it again..guess I will just have to wait and see...
I HATE being second choice ALL the time. I HATE that H doesnt realize how much it hurts me when he makes me feel like he doesnt like spending time with me!! 
