Our relationships are our biggest blessings. Yet they can also seem, at times, like our worst problems. We do things for and with other people that we would never do of our own volition. We allow ourselves to be led along roads that we might never travel alone. You are now worried because you are not sure that you ought to follow a certain person as they now take a particular direction. Stay with them, though, at least for a while. Their path may yet alter.
For some reason, lots of thoughts of OW and H have been entering my mind. So weird...Im just trying to piece together how long H had been thinking about OW before they were actually together. They had been friends since HS, so lots of times when we were back home, she was there. I know, better to not go there....
I honestly dont think they contact each other hardly at all anymore if even at all.
Why do I believe this?? Well, he lets me use his cell phone, he leaves it lay around, doesnt have the text message signal turned on and he checks his email right in front of me. All good signs that he is not talking to her any longer. Stuff he NEVER did before!
Ok, so the positives from yesterday! 1. Went to H softball game and afterwards he suggested we go out for wings at new place. It was cool place and we had good time. He was pretty chatty!! 2. H put his hand next to my leg in bed (for him, this is huge!) 3. H went to bathroom with me during night because I thought I heard something and didnt want to go alone!
You know what I am going to say! You know what to do about it. We are similar in that way. We both need to stop. It has no bearing on the future, it can only hold us back from realizing what can be if we concentrate on us and our R's.
I love you positives for the day. You need to see you are building something new. Something OW can never get close to. Your love for your H is mightier than the infatuation and fantasy they could have had. He is making efforts to let you know she is not in picture. Allow him to do that and give him the gift and respect of honoring it. Do not think of them, think only of you and your R with H.
Get busy living or get busy dying! I love that quote from Shawshank Redemption. You are doing brilliantly!
Through honest giving of my love I will recieve 10 fold in return.
Just because a person does not love you in the way you want, does not mean they do not love you!
Thanks F4W- You always have some wise advice to make me feel so much stronger!
Just going to do some journaling...Last night after I got home from walking, me feet hurt REALLY bad and my H back hurts REALLY bad. Well, I said I would rub out his back if he would rub my feet. He said, "no, thats ok". So I kept tyring to make his back feel better, told him to take some tylenol, et.....He saw that my feet were sore and saw me trying to rub them and I said, "please, would you rub them?" and I got a flat out "no".
I was fuming inside. I do and do and do for him and all I wanted was one little foot rub! He did them for me right after affair ended back in Sept-Oct...but nothing since. Again, I was just ready to quit! Its just not fair!
Anyways, of course, I just let it go...we were in bed and I asked H to scratch my back for second...and he did, THEN he said, "You can scratch if you want", meaning he wanted me to scratch his arm, like I do every night. Ok..so I took a second, because what I really wanted to say was, "I asked for a footrub before and you said, NO, maybe I should just say NO." But the good dbing in me, I did it, because I love him and wanted to do it for him. We did end up having a fun time in bed..NO, not that way, but we laughed and joked around with each other and it was so nice..I love laughing with him and love it when we tease each other. Of course my anger didnt last so long, but it is so frustrating to not get in anything in return when I do all the nice things I do.
"Happiness is a conscious choice. There is no need to look for the next thing to come galloping over the horizon to bring us happiness. Joy is a state of being, not an attainment. Work to shift your focus to one of joy, faith, and optimism and limitless opportunities will open up for you."
Sounds like some good advice to me!
Yesterday was pretty good day! H was gone working most of day...and has been all week. Thats good why? Because when he doesnt have jobs, he is home a lot more and I think its that we see each other so much, that he feels "smothered". Anyways, so its been nice that he's been busy this week! We ate supper and then both vegged out on the couch all nite! It was nice..we joked around, talked, just had some good quality time together. H even seemed to be...hmmm how can I say it....like trying to show affection, but not really?? Like there would be a reason for him to move his hand on my leg or arm and then he would just leave it there...dont know how to explain it..but its different...and it seemed like baby steps to me.
One thing bugging me...he is supposed to be having a HS reunion this summer..we thought they werent having one, but just last nite they called and said yes. Well, we already have our trips back home planned for the summer, so dont know when he would squeeze that in....anyways, the problem is OW is in his HS class and if they have this, she just might go back for it. Yea, woopee, he has already been to Vegas 2x since the affair ended and saw her, but still...
We often urge ourselves to hurry up when there's no good reason for it. At such times, all we really do is create needless tension and anxiety.
The slogan "Easy does it" is our answer to such calls to hurry. The slogan suggests that we simply move into the rhythms of life and go with the flow.
It's not hurrying but steady effort that finally brings achievement. We've had entirely too much hurry and impatience. What we really need is confident, persistent effort in the right direction. We should be especially reminded of this when we see anxious, impatient people speeding through traffic, risking life and limb to save a few seconds, only to be forced to wait at traffic lights. A good steady pace is what we need, and it will win the game.
I'll be active today, but not overactive. I'll look for rhythm and efficiency in everything I do.
Quote: ....anyways, the problem is OW is in his HS class and if they have this, she just might go back for it. Yea, woopee, he has already been to Vegas 2x since the affair ended and saw her, but still...
Sounds like a good opportunity to me to do several things:
Go and KNOCK everyone's socks off with how HOT you look!
Go and "pee" on H, but just a little bit. Mingle and have fun!
Go and show forgiveness. Take the high road. [/list]
Remember, the best revenge is living well, as they say. (Yeah, okay, I don't buy into "revenge" but living well still works!)
MarthaH -great advice, but dont even know if he will invite me along if he decides to go....Not even sure I would want to...I would be afraid of what I would do with alcohol in me and seeing her face...
Like there would be a reason for him to move his hand on my leg or arm and then he would just leave it there...dont know how to explain it..but its different...and it seemed like baby steps to me. 
