Thanks F4W- You always have some wise advice to make me feel so much stronger!
Just going to do some journaling...Last night after I got home from walking, me feet hurt REALLY bad and my H back hurts REALLY bad. Well, I said I would rub out his back if he would rub my feet. He said, "no, thats ok". So I kept tyring to make his back feel better, told him to take some tylenol, et.....He saw that my feet were sore and saw me trying to rub them and I said, "please, would you rub them?" and I got a flat out "no".
I was fuming inside. I do and do and do for him and all I wanted was one little foot rub! He did them for me right after affair ended back in Sept-Oct...but nothing since. Again, I was just ready to quit! Its just not fair!
Anyways, of course, I just let it go...we were in bed and I asked H to scratch my back for second...and he did, THEN he said, "You can scratch if you want", meaning he wanted me to scratch his arm, like I do every night. Ok..so I took a second, because what I really wanted to say was, "I asked for a footrub before and you said, NO, maybe I should just say NO." But the good dbing in me, I did it, because I love him and wanted to do it for him. We did end up having a fun time in bed..NO, not that way, but we laughed and joked around with each other and it was so nice..I love laughing with him and love it when we tease each other. Of course my anger didnt last so long, but it is so frustrating to not get in anything in return when I do all the nice things I do.
