Seriously, why am I wanting to stay here with someone who doesnt really want to be with me??

Ok, here's what happened...H cousin called to see if he's going to their cousins graduation in couple of weeks. When he got off phone I asked who it was and what they wanted, thats when he told me about the graduation. Well, then I replied, "cool, am I invited?" to which he replied, "I dont know"....thanks for that!!

He never includes me in any part of his social life. Its like he is telling them a different story than he is telling me. I have no idea what he has told them, but maybe its that he is not happy and that is because of me, so thats why he never invites me along.

Its like its ok if its just the two of us, but we never do any couple things or "social" things together. For one all his so called friends are all single!!! Doesnt really help us out too much!!!

So, after he said "I dont know" I withdrew and he knew it, but after the last week, I could hardly hold back a cry. In fact I went into the bathroom to cry a little. When I came back out, he asked what was wrong and I said nothing. He said you might as well just tell me..and I said, its just dumb and he said, yes it is. Nice.. Then I said "what am I upset about then?" and he said, "because of what I said about you going to the graduation. And that was that...nothing more said...but I so badly wanted to say, "I just want to be with someone who wants me to be wtih them and spend time with them and their friends" But I didnt....

But I am seriously wondering what I am doing still staying with him. I am tired of being treated like I dont matter! What if I am just a roommate to him..one who he gets to have sex with whenever? How long can I handle just being his roommate? Sometimes I wish he would have moved out way back when...maybe then he might have realized just what he would be giving up. Like a friend of mine said, he seems to miss me when Im gone, but when Im here, he could care less!!

You might want to say, well, what about all the positives I have been posting...well, they are nothing more than what a roommate would do for me, right??

I am so confused right now..I just want to cry and cry and cry, but what would that do? Make him feel bad?? Woopee..he would probably just get mad instead! If he is pretending, how can I know...am I just supposed to go on kissing his a@@?? While getting nothing in return??
Im tired of hurting, Im tired of trying, Im tired of being treated like Im not worth anything to him!!!!