I just want to do some journaling to get this out of my head!! Ok, I havent been doing so well since H said "I still dont have those feelings for you and DONT want to hug and kiss you." He said the same thing the end of January too.
Just when I think we are doing well, moving forward, he does this. It just plain SUCKS! This whole week I have been wondering how long he just plans to stay here, with me, if he feels that way? Is he just taking advantage of me and all that I do for him? Or is he really working on this marriage and hoping those feelings will come back too? I know that there are no guarantees, but its kind of scary. Just what is he doing? He did say he is trying, because I asked him to....well, why not because he wants to? Will he ever come to the realization that those "feelings" he wants back are probably not going to come back? I guess if I am having reservations and fears, it could very well be that he has some too. His fears might be that my 180's will not last. I think I am still surprising him with them, so he might be a little unsure about them.
Well, just needed to get that off my mind, so now I can go on DBing and focusing on the future, whether it be our future or my future!
