Communication skills need some improvement...

[sage]

Yup, it sounds like you're pushing too much. But it also sounds like your requests of him are not without some "R talk" and M pressure thrown in

In other words, perhaps the request itself to go away wasn't bad (though it sounds like a big leap!) but then it got wrapped up in:

I said I thought you didnt want to go - a little bit of questioning his motives

The reason I asked you to come is because we just havent been spenging much time together lately -- asking for something different, possibly sounds like a judgement to him

you being busy with your sports stuff -- definite "blame" sound (sorry!)

just the 2 of us would be good for us -- could sound controlling

I just dont want us to get back to where we were -- a bit of an R talk

And you keep sending me these Marriage things in the email about how to make the marraige work and Im just not there !!!!!! This is a big one! STOP sending him M stuff in email!

It definitely sounds to me like he's reacting to some R talk stuff plus feeling some pressure from you plus maybe feeling blamed a bit. I know that none of that was your intention but that's what it looks like.

It's HARD to keep the DB principles in mind when you get to Piecing because it seems natural to want to go back to pursuing and talking and "getting better" but a lot of that stuff just isn't going to work and may set you back a bit.

My suggestion is that you go away if you want the break and it he asks about it you could tell him that you'd love for him to come if he wants to get away and just relax but that you understand if he doesn't want too. Can you be lighthearted and warm and apply no pressure?

If he doesn't want to go, then you go and have a fun, relaxing time. Come back with tales of some decadent fun you had and don't mention anything about "I did some thinking" or "the break was good for us" or anything that even remotely sounds like this was to "improve" the R.

If he says he wants to go DON'T question his motives -- just be pleased he does want to go and make it the most relaxing fun time you can. NO PRESSURE.

Sage