Heres a letter I wrote to my H. I got the idea of a "love letter" from a book I read. Not sure I will give it to him, but sure felt better to get all that stuff off my chest and out of my head!
H, I’m tired of putting forth so much effort in our marriage without any help. I’m tired of being the only one that shows any type of affection in our marriage. I resent it when I go to hug or kiss you and you turn your body away from me or don’t hug or kiss me back. I get angry when I am talking to you and you walk out of the room. I hate it when we are spending time together and your friends call and you just leave me to talk to them. I want to be made to feel just as important or more important in your life as they are.
I feel sad when I you spend all your time talking to your friends on the phone, but can’t spend a couple hours with me each night. I feel sad when I come up with different things we can do to spend time together and you say no. I feel disappointed because I am not getting my needs met, but am trying my hardest to meet all of your needs. I feel sad when I come home and find you sitting on the couch watching TV, only to see you get up and go in the computer room when I walk in the door. I feel sad when I ask you to rub my leg and you won’t. I feel disappointed that we cant talk about things when they are bothering us. I hope that we will start to open up to each other and not be afraid.
I am afraid to communicate my needs to you, because I am scared you will not work to try and meet them. I’m afraid that I will never get my needs met and I will end up being unhappy in this marriage. I want for us to have a wonderful, happy marriage. I want you to want this marriage to work as much as I do.
I’m sorry if I am sometimes too clingy. I am sorry if you feel I am pushing too much on you too soon, but you need to tell me. I am sorry that I didn’t not work harder on our marriage after we got married. I feel bad that I let us get into such a bad place that our lives got so mixed up. I wish I had done so many things differently the past couple years, so maybe it wouldn’t all be so hard right now. I am sorry I was always so jealous and nagging. Please forgive me for trying to change you into something that you were not.
I love you because you are you. I fell in love with the person that you were, not who I thought I wanted you to be. You are the person I want you to be. You are a wonderful husband and companion. You have a wonderful sense of humor. I appreciate it when you do things for me around the house and help me with the kids, and even when you just listen to me vent about my day. I love when we go out on “dates” and are able to just talk. Thank you for including me in your life and talking tome about what’s going on in your life. I do truly think that we are wonderful together. I understand that it is hard for both of us to express ourselves, but I think that in order to keep our marriage strong, we need to communicate on a deeper level without being afraid to express ourselves. I want us to be more affectionate together and try to spend more time together, just the two of us. I sometimes just need you to hold me, just to let me know you love and care about me. I love you more than I ever thought possible and its because of that I am writing this letter. So that we have a chance of making our marriage the strongest marriage ever!
