Just having a hard day today...so thought maybe to put out a timeline and put down some goals for my M would help me to SEE us moving forward when I feel like we are stuck!

I am still having some troubles with the affection part. I just feel like my H doesnt want to give it to ME...but that he needs it. For example...this morning, before H left for work, I said, "I would like to give you a hug"...then he went to one of the daycare kids I have here (his favorite) and asked him for a hug. I was hurt...cuz then I still had to say, "what about me" and he sort of hugged me back. So, I know he wants affection, but not from me?????????????????

Ok, so here is the timeline of our mess....Sept 03 H says hes not happy...March 04-H tells me NILWY...April 05- starts EA with old high school friend...Sept 04 - breaks off EA...but still in touch (I think) Seems to be wanting our M to work...Jan 05- H tells mom he still is not in love with me, isnt sure it will work...Jan 05- takes trip to Vegas for guys weekend (where OW lives) comes back all lovey...March 05- another trip to Vegas- seems even more involved in our M by letting me get closer to him in some ways...doing more things with me....planning future things...going on trip with mutual friends... which brings us to today....

Ok, so...in all actuality, he has really only been feeling that our M will work and that he does have feelings for me for approximately 2 months in the past 6 since affair ended. Oh yes, and how do I know this?? Well, not from communicating!! Bad, bad me!!

Ok, so my goals for our M:
1. To be able to communicate my needs for affection to my H
2. To have my H try to fulfill my needs for affection
3. For my H to initiate feelings/actions of "love" for me
4. For both of us to start opening up more about our hopes for the future
5. To talk about the possibility of having children
6. For my H to be open and honest about his feelings
7. For me not to have so many expectations for affection..knowing that it is a hard thing for him to show.

I guess for now those are the main things I think we need to work on...

If there is anyone out there that might be having the same problems with the affection part of their marriage and has any suggestions...I would greatly appreciate it!