Sounds like things are going well for you too. I understand the apprehension of can it keep up? I keep waiting for midnite to strike.
I think a good key is to keep changing. I am now trying to balance letting my W do things for me and continuing to do things for her around the house. Like I do laundry, she said, now don't worry. But I did it anyhow. I told her I don't want to take advantage of her since she is home now. But I also told her how much I liked it.
Keep it up.
LIT
There are 3 sides to every situation: yours, mine and the truth. Knowing the difference is the key.
I think when the dbing shows results were are so amazed we think its some kind of fluke that will stop happening. Agree trick is to keep up dbing and changes. 2much happy that your dbing is showing results.
Celebrate the little things. They have the best staying power. Anyone can orchestrate one big event, but doing the little things, every day, make the difference.
Each experience in life has formed me, become part of me, made me stronger.
I am trying to stop saying about how amazed I am. I did tell her at lunch yesterday that I was wating for something to go wrong. IT wasn't that I doubted her, but couldn't beleive how good things were and I didn't want them to end.
Now just trying to form new, good habits.
LIT
There are 3 sides to every situation: yours, mine and the truth. Knowing the difference is the key.
Quote: I am trying to stop saying about how amazed I am. I did tell her at lunch yesterday that I was wating for something to go wrong. IT wasn't that I doubted her, but couldn't beleive how good things were and I didn't want them to end.
To me, this means living in the moment. I am trying to learn to do just that, live in the moment, live in the present, and to keep my head out of the past and out of the future.
I mean, really, isn't the only person we really "spend the future with" is ourself? So, when I think about the future, I try to think only of me; when I'm in the present, I try to focus on the person/people I'm with.
It's not easy, but I'm trying, and it does help me move forward with what I feel is a lasting change.
I was recommended The Present by Spencer Johnson. It's about learning from past mistakes but *living* in the present. I haven't read it yet - just haven't had the time.
Wow, I cant believe its almost been a year since I have joined these boards!! To think of where I have been, what I have been through and where we are now!! WOW, again!
And to everyone out there that has ever visited my posts....thank you, thank you, thank you...I would have never made it without all of you!! I never, ever thought I would be here, with my H, and things would be going so well! Of course we still have some work to do...but we are starting to get back to being "comfortable" around each other so that we can relax and enjoy each other again. Sometimes, I wonder if my H thinks about anything that has happened in the past year? We have never really talked about it, and honestly, I dont want to..I want to leave the past IN the past! Of course I will take all I have learned in the past year with me, but other than that....moving forward!
OK, so I had a hard weekend. My H is going to Vegas this thursday until sunday for a "guys weekend" He has them quite often, but thats a whole other story....
Vegas is where OW lives, where H used to go to see her and spend time with her. So I am getting anxious, scared all those feelings I want to leave behind are slowly creeping in. I find myself looking for any different behavior in my H, but only in looking so hard, do I analyze EVERY move he makes!
I know there is nothing with him and OW and I have nothing to worry about, BUT, its so hard to just forget what has happened.
I think I get anxious because I dont feel safe yet...Yes, we are doing so well and moving in the right direction, but still I feel like at any moment, he is going to tell me he still is not in love with me. His actions have been showing me different, but no words of ILY, but I have not said them either.
Fear...that is what it is...and I think we both may have some of the same fears and that is what is keeping us from moving that extra step forward. I am finally showing some more personal affection toward him, by hugging him each morning when he leaves for work. He is getting much more comfortable with it too. I also give him a kiss each night before we go to sleep. Simple things, yes, but things that for long time I was afraid to do, for fear of being rejected.
When I start feeling anxious is when I start feeling like I am not getting what I need from H. Yes, he does so much for me: cleans house, puts dishes away, does laundry, cleans bathroom, goes out for meals with me, has meaningful conversations with me...but there are still some things that if I dont get from him eventually, it will be very hard for me to stay in love with him and I really dont want that to happen!!
Maybe this weekend would be a good time to write him a "love letter" and tell him how I feel and some of the things I need from him.
Another thing is kids...I have wanted kids since I was 10 years old..now I am 32, almost 33. I do want them....there was a time I told my H I thought I would be ok with not having them as long as I was doing daycare, but I was wrong..I do want kids...so very much. But that discussion has not come up in a LONG time. My H has "taken" to one of the little ones in my daycare...he seems to be so much more comfortable around the kids...at first he was not very interested in them, but now he is always wanting hugs and kisses and wants to see what they are doing...so maybe he has changed his mind too. But is it too soon to ask about it?
Is it too soon for me to have anymore expectations in this M or should I still be patient? How long do I have to wait for it to be the right time to "talk" about things or will it ever be the right time?
Glad things are going well. As for kids, there is never the right time. There will always be a million reasons not to and another million to do it. Sounds like he is getting comfortable, talk to him about it.
LIT
There are 3 sides to every situation: yours, mine and the truth. Knowing the difference is the key.
