Had a great time yesterday, just window shopping. It was nice not to have the kids with me. This morning H let me sleep in! Unbelivable. I even heard him shushing the kids. AND today, he decided it was time to put up the baseboards for the kitchen that we remodeled last June...instead of working on his car.
While I was out, I did a lot of thinking and I think I finally came to the realization that a lot of my lack of SD for H wasn't actually lack of SD, it's a control issue. As much as H needs to take control of some things in our R I need to let go.
So H isn't always the brightest crayon in the box when it comes to the female gender and has a tendency to put his foot in his mouth. Maybe with gentle guidance from each of us we can get to a place where we meet in the middle. I mean that is really what happens in a successful R. It's not who "gives in". It's a process of letting go of your paradyms of a perfect marriage and finding a space where you are comfortable.
chacha said: -------------- Maybe with gentle guidance from each of us we can get to a place where we meet in the middle. I mean that is really what happens in a successful R. It's not who "gives in". It's a process of letting go of your paradyms of a perfect marriage and finding a space where you are comfortable. --------------
I think someone should give the lady a cigar - make that a box full. :-)
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Well, things are going pretty will in Chez ChaCha. I've been doing a lot of thinking and coming to answers that I need in order to change things. I can't make my H do anything but I can decide to make myself happier. Yesterday, I told H "For our entire marriage I have been trying to be right. I am beginning to realize now it's not about being right anymore." I think he was shocked. So....we are getting closer to our comfortable space (and we ML again last night off-schedule, I might add).
NOW....I'd be much more comfortable if my neighbors had not gotten a new puppy that they insist on leaving outside for hours and a time. Bark...bark...bark. I have the same reaction to her that I do when I hear a tiny baby crying at the supermarket. SOMEONE PICK UP THAT BABY!
