So, Chachacha, What is the goal? What does Dr. Phil say? Do you wanna be right or be happy? Now, I agree that what he said was really creepy, about the cost of the flowers. But, what I hear him saying underneath it all is somehow he is under the impression that he has to "earn" sex, pay you for it in flowers, romance. Then he does those things, flowers and whatever trying to get the sex, and it doesn't happen he is frustrated. Does he feel he cannot "win", th.t he cannot make you happy?
I also think it is not all up to him to get you in the mood. What do you do to get yourself in the mood? Do you dress in a way that makes YOU feel sexy, do you do things to make yourself want him. If you sit and focus just on what you want HIM to do and say to get you in the mood, and how it is never enough or just right, I don't see you making progress.
What do you do to make sure you set a sexy atmosphere for both of you? I am saying this cuz there have been times that I was making my husband feel that he could never do things just right. After a while, it becomes work for them. Again, being disrespectful is not okay. But what is a solution? What exactly does he have to do to have a more active sex life?
And just as an afterthought, many of us want what we can't have. What do you think would happen if you just suddenly started wanting to have sex with him at ever single opportunity? I wonder if he might back off a little. Sort of like when you are on a diet and all you can do is think about food. Just thinking out loud. I do think that the communication between the two of you is pretty good. Just need to focus on solutions.
Arguing with reality is like trying to teach a cat to bark—hopeless. (Byron Katie)
