The discussion continued last night. I told H that I know he expects sex after he has gone out of his way for me but that the way he said it was crude and demeaning to me. I explained that demanding wasn't going to make me feel desire toward him. I appreciated the loving gestures that he had given me but the minute he made that demand of me my defenses went up.

H told me that he was tired of having to play games. He said that he spent years dating and having to go overboard to get sex. Buying gifts, flowers, cards. Even more so, the talking....how many times he had to pretend he was actually interested in what the women were saying in order to get laid. When we married he thought that he would get a break, that other than the ocassion like V-Day or our anniversary that our R would just roll-along. H said that he figured that since he loved me that should be enough.

He said that we went out Friday and spent the evening together and that led to ML that night. Then on Sat and Sun he tried to be attentive to me but it didn't work those nights so by Monday he wanted to make sure I understood that if he does something for me then I am to do for him. He wanted to know why if he goes out of his way to pay attention to me and talk to me every day I won't ML every day?

I told him that right now it is unrealistic to make our goal to ML every day. I mean we are trying to go from once every three months or so to every day? He got mad and said that if we wanted to we could. That we could lock the kids in their room if we had to or that I could wake up when he is on the night shift to ML when he gets home.

I got a little mad at that point and told him yeah, and you could get your butt up in the morning and have coffee with me once in awhile instead of sleeping till eleven leaving me to keep the kids quiet. He could come to bed with me in the evening instead of staying up playing video games until two in the morning. He could take the kids out of the house once in awhile and give me a break.

His response was "what does all that have to do with our sex life?"