The thing is, NG, I used to be a very romantic kind of guy. My W would either not react, or react negatively. I would write poems to her, and she would say, "that's nice." I would buy her jewelry or flowers, and she'd say, "you spent too much." I would spend all day in the kitchen cooking her a gourmet meal and she would say, "this is so fattening...but tasty." I felt like I tried everything, and it fell flat. So I stopped being a romantic, creative lover. I stopped writing poems. I kept on buying her gifts, but only for her birthday and for Christmas. I kept on cooking, but only cooked something fancy when I wanted to try it . . . not for her.
And yes, I stopped saying "I love you" quite as often as I used to. I used to say it as often as I'd say "goodbye" to her. Now, I just say it when I truly feel like it. So I get criticized for not saying it on Valentines day.
I just wanted to let you know that I don't think my wife wants a romantic man. I'm not sure what she wants, but it seems to keep her comfortable if she just has something about which she can regularly complain.
