Dear CCC,

I think you need to figure out what you can do to put yourself in the mood, since your H doesn't seem to be able to do it for you. We can only make suggestions, since it is different for everyone. The idea of planning a light meal with moderate alcohol is a good one (wine better than beer for this purpose). If you have trouble keeping your mind on things, eliminate distractions, i.e. take care of any business that needs to be done. How about a warm bath? Some quality time with a strategically located hand-held shower nozzle ? Are there any kind of fantasy scenarios that turn you on?

You get the idea. Or maybe you don't. This kind of pressure can force you to actually think for the first time about what it really is that turns you on, which is in my ignorant opinion, a good first move in fixing your own desire issues.

Also, don't be afraid of making special requests of your H. I wouldn't ask him for a particular gift, but maybe you would like him to shower, shave, and put on that shirt that you really like.

Hope that helps.

SM

"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment."
Henry David Thoreau