This is a perspective that I don't understand. You seem to feel you need to "Perform". ML should NEVER be a performance. The key to solving this problem is that you must find a way to WANT sex from him. It's all about you finding YOUR need for sexual fulfillment, not his! You need to find out what makes you want him, and then tell him what he needs to do to create that environment. Guys are NOT that smart. They often need to be bluntly told. Your going to create a lot of pressure on yourself by always "Performing" for him. This is not about pleasing him, this is about you building a true need for sex and figuring out what YOU need to get there.
If you felt yucky, then you should have told him so and scheduled sex for later. If you ever are not in the mood for sex, do not turn him down, just reschedule it for the next morning or a later time. Do not REJECT him. And yes, when you turn him down for sex you are rejecting him big time.
It also sounds like HE needs a little retraining on what makes YOU feel sexy. Maybe HE needs to put a little more effort into the romance side of things. Lry him know what turns you on!
