Yesterday I ran across a receipt and questioned H. He gave a vague answer (surprise). For some reason it bothered me ( I guess I let my imagination run wild) and later H asked what's wrong. I say nothing. He says I dont believe you. I respond with you don't want to know. He just stands there. I finally say, I don't think you are being completely honest with me (DUHHH!!! I already whacked myself, thanks). He calls me a name and walks a way. I follow and say that was unfair then I just drop it. A few minutes later he apologizes for the name. (???? whoa) I let it go. A few positives, he apologized and it didn't escalate into a fight ( I hope H noticed that). I let it go, even though I had a 1000 questions in my head.
It is just weird. His parents were visiting today and we were planning spring bread and Easter. I am sitting there thinking, hey you know none of this may happen because your son is .... and I may be kicking him out. But, I just sit there and smile and plan.
I keep doing things thinking, we will have to split up the dishes (as I empty the dishwasher). As I do the laundry ( I think H will have to go to a laundry mat LOL -that makes me smile). I guess I am preparing myself. I really don't expect the phone bill to be different (either the same or higher). I have been making plans in my head on what to do. I don't think H sees me as GAL even though I have joined a gym and leave on Saturdays without the kids, I don't bother him with details (like getting the kids haircuts or running errands)- I just go and do it ( I used to try and include him in on everything and make it family time)and have starting going to church and SS without him. I think he likes this freedom I have given him.
Just trying to sort out my thought which are all jumbled. Sherry
