Thanks JVJKB,

I have the 5 LL book. My H's LL languages are physical touch and affirmation. The physical touch one is hard, because he has basically stopped it altogether. I usually iniate a hug and a kiss in the morning and he will respond. I initiate ML every so often and he lets me (I wouldn't say he responds a lot). Other than that, I am at a loss as how to work on that one. I will sometimes brush up against him or scratch his back but that is about it.

For words of affirmation I was writing notes on index cards( from our dating days- we used to leave them on each others cars-he started it way back then and I started during this) trying to affirm him in ways I haven't done over the years. I stopped for awhile but have started doing it more over the last few weeks. I am not sure if he is ready to hear my words yet so I am holding back on that.

Your thought on getting him to help crossed my mind today. I told myself this is ridiculous, if he is going to stay here and not make a choice then he has to help.

I actually told him that about a month ago. Obviously he didn't take me seriously. I will take your suggestion and ask H, at this point it can't hurt.
He knows how stressful my work is, he knows I have the kids going and coming home from work, I have them on errands after work. He has heard all this before. He sees everything I do and how I rush around and how I stressed I am. I think at this point he doesn't care. I will try your suggestion of one request a week.

I have also done a lot better with not thinking about the ow. I don't do it nearly as often. I pretty much tell myself she is not worth it. She doesn't deserve my emotion, energy, or time. That hasn't been as much of a problem lately.

BTW, today I texted H and said going on some errands, then getting burgers. When we got home H wasn't there. This where I usually slip up and call. Today I didn't call He called on his way on home and wanted to know if and where we had gotten burgers. (we had already gone and were already home) When he finally got home I was on the phone and in a good mood. I said hi when I got off and asked no questions about where he was. He was in a mood I could tell. Had a sourpuss look on his face. I just ignored it and went about my business. He took some pills then went to bed. Poor baby, if he felt that bad he shouldn't have stayed out so late. Sorry I am really not that mean, just venting here. Lately, something always seems to be wrong though, head, tummy, etc. I think it is more related to stress because of what he is doing.


Thanks,
Sherry