I really love you and care all about you, but I'm not crazy "in love" with you anymore. Nope. I love being with you and around you and when we share time together it's great ans wonderful, but... It's not that I don't want the R, it's that I don't really need to have this R. It would be nice, but, hey! It's not going to be, and I'm OK with that. I've got things to do, places to go, people to see. I love my life. Everyday, there's something new and wonderful added to it!
This is EXACTLY how my new mentality is now. It's been no easy task, believe me! My H seemed to be dead-set on a D, but as soon as I showed the new me, he couldn't ignore it. And it took a while, too.
When I initially found out about the A, I did tell him to get out, but he complained about not having anywhere to go. I told him that wasn't my problem, but seeing how my parents' were away, I took the kids and stayed at their house for the night. I told him to be gone before I returned. Well, obviously he wasn't gone when I did get back, but H told me he wanted to work it out. After a while, I agreed, and we were on that roller coaster for the past month. H wanted to stay, then go, then stay, etc., etc. It was just in the past 2 weeks that I really focused on the new me, then H noticed, and finally came around. But we still have a long way to get to where we want to be.
When you do get some free time to yourself, maybe take up some new interests, and make some friends. Then get together whenever possible. Your H will notice! Isn't that what we want? Believe me. I know how difficult it is to take that first step, but you have to do it. Also, I read in your post that you mentioned OW. You can't do that! I did it, too, for the first couple of weeks, and finally realized it was only pushing us farther and farther apart. Isn't that what we don't want?
Come on, Sherry! I'm pulling for you! Continue to detach, but remember to be friendly. When you have plans of your own, and H asks for details, remember to be vague. I'm sure you've read and heard all this before. It does work, and it can work for you if you really want it. And if it doesn't, well then, you are just that much stronger.
Thanks, JVJKB
Valerie
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination." ~ author unknown
