As you know both you and I are kind of in the same boat. MY H has told me has was moving out, but he has not. That was a month ago. I agree with JV that we are providing a safety net here. My H only used to threaten leaving or D when he was mad at my constant pressure of the sitch. If I leave him alone about it he stays. But stays for what? You say you dont want to give up OW, and in my case H does not touch me AT all, so why stay. Go be happy somewhere else. But at the same time I want him here. But then I hate him. I am sure you go through that same range of emotions on a daily basis. I struggle with this all the time, if I continue like this it is like I am ok with the sitch and I am not. But what do you do...keep detaching. Does that send a message like you dont care and dont want the R? It could, or it could send the message that you are moving on without him and he really doesnt want that either. This is so hard, confusing and unfair. I dont have the answers, for now keep up what you are doing and we can re-evaluate the change in a few weeks. That is my plan for right now. I havent said anything about him being there, or fixing our M. I am just there, friendly but not trying to fix anything. I do feel the brunt of the responsibilites at home and to beat I have taken on the job of shoveling the snow, taking out the garbage, etc. Now what does he do? NOTHING. But if and when H moves out, I know I will be able to take care of things on my own. So if anything we will become stronger women for this.
Stay strong Sherry, I know how you feel. I will check back later Sun
