Took the kids to Sunday school, then church. Surprised H a little with this. We are running around getting ready and H comes in the bedroom and says "I'm confused" (Duhhhhh-I know that LOL)--we are getting ready earlier than usual, we have been going to church not SS (an H will go to church but early on said he would not go to SS). I just say I am going to SS. Did not ask him if he wanted to go or tell him I was going. No response, he just walks out of the room. He kinda looks at me funny as we leave but oh well who know what that means.
Anyway, to the mess up (not a big one). I come home and he is not here. I had been preparing myself for that but it just made me sooo mad. Just stop sneaking around!!!! So, being the bright person I am, I call him. He says he is on his way home from the video store. So I say I am taking the kids to eat (which is what I should have done when I pulled in and not called him--aaggg) He says well hey I am almost home so wait for me.
It isn't a big mistake. I am just mad at myself for reacting. He knows what time we would get home and he was gone anyway. He pushed my buttons. He doesn't think anything is wrong. So it isn't huge.
Well, I have definately learned from this and next time will NOT call H. I will just be gone when he comes home.
Can you with 100% certainty say that his trip to the video store was delbrately timed so that he wouldn't be home when you arrived and by so doing he was intentionally trying to irk you? Why we would he do that? Why would you get irked?
In H's defense could the line at the video store been long. As long as he came home with a video, then dont worry about it. Listen you know the calls are there, so stop letting them get to you. Of course it bothers you, but you and I are working on our reactions. Isnt it true, that your reactions will start to reflect how H reacts! Would he have called you when he got there and you werent home. Try and think of it that way.
You and I are in the same boat, I know it is hard to be upbeat, but you can do it. Plus we are getting a life, slowly but we are. I am just waiting for someone to talk to me at the gym. I could use an ego boost. As you could too!
Keep up the good work, as long as you recover from any backslides you are doing ok,.
You are right, I don't know if he did it on purpose. He has no sense of time and everything always takes him longer. He doesn't plan ahead at all. Waits until the last minute to do everything. He was on the way home when I called and he did take the movies I rented back. He also asked if I saw the movies he rented, (twice because I said no the first time then he asked later) like he was actually interested in my opinion.
I am not sure he would have called me if I hadn't been home. But, I can't concern myself with that. I can just act as if he would have.
I was just frustrated with the whole situation. Like I have said before I pretty much handle all household chores and most of the kid responsibilities. When I walked in the house and he had done nothing and then was gone, I just got furious. Sometimes I just want to scream. Unfortunately I can't do that. The kids would wonder what is wrong with mommy.
Well, we had a nice lunch, laughed, played a fierce game of I Spy with the kids. I was able to compliment him.
He keeps complaining of not feeling well. I want to ask him (but can't, so will just tell you) -- Do you think it could be stress, hmmm....? Gee, you are still sneaking around hiding your phone and hiding calling ow, then coming home and acting normal. Do you think that might be getting to you and affecting your health?????? Don't worry, I am not going to say that. I just had to get it off my chest and vent.
Quote: I just got furious. Sometimes I just want to scream. Unfortunately I can't do that. The kids would wonder what is wrong with mommy... played a fierce game of I Spy with the kids.
I thought of a new game you could play: "Listen To Mommy Scream".
I don't see that as a big backslide. I also don't know your situation enough to comment on whether he did that on purpose. My gut feeling would be no, because he would have had to think about your feelings (bad or good). Keep up the good work!!!
D.
P.S. After the race, 2 1/4 hours to get from parking space to the exit of the Speedway (about 250 yards). I'm at home but I am fried!
Well I don't think yesterday's mistake was too big.
H asked if I wanted to watch one of the movies he got. Not such a big deal because we still watch movies together. But, I have watched the last two movies I rented without him or at least started without him and he has joined me. So, I was happy he included me.
This morning I am finishing up my shower; H pops his head in the bathroom and says "Hey." He hasn't done that in a long time. I mean actually taking the effort to open the door and greet me. Wow. Usually we say hi in the mornings when we pass or first see each other. (I usually get up first). Won't let it go to my head, but hey it is something.
He emailed and I am not emailing back until later just to remind him to pick our daughter up because I have a meeting.
Hey I have a question.
I have a Drs. appt. on Thursday afternoon. Now, I usually run around going crazy trying to get the kids taken care of. H never has to worry about this. If he has an appointment of any kind or just an errand, he just goes and never has to worry about the kids. The question is, do I just hand it over to him and say I have an appoint. you need to get the kids and let him deal with it. The thing is he will have to leave early and get coverage for his class (which I am doing too and usually do for the kids appt. too) I can tell you right now he will not be happy about it at all. He will be put out. Any thoughts?
If he can't watch the kids, then couples normally call in a relative, a friend, and barring that, a babysitter. You can and should ask H first, but if it does conflict with his class time, then that's just as not fair an inconvenience to him as it would be to you. All the work is on us, Sherry. We have to show concern for the WAS's needs, it doesn't work the other way around.
Hey Sherry--just got caught up, sounds like you are doing great! When you said you had a backslide I thought for sure that you called ow to ask where you H was ....that wasn't too bad! Plus he joined you for lunch...keep doing what you're doing...it will all work out for the best, whichever the best may be!
....that wasn't too bad! 
Plus he joined you for lunch...keep doing what you're doing...it will all work out for the best, whichever the best may be!