Thanks!! I do think I am getting the hang of detaching.
I went to the gym this morning and to get a haircut. No shopping, it was raining and I was tired of getting wet.
I get home and kids are eating lunch (lunchables--H worked hard) and H says, I knew as soon as I fed them you would come home. I just looked at him. I said "and" he just repeated his statement. Not sure what he meant but oh well, he will get over it.
So I ask him, you going to eat lunch and he said yes he was hungry. I asked what he wanted. He didn't know, he was on the computer at this point. So I went to make my lunch, since H made no move to get up. Now usually I would fix us both something to eat. Today I didn't. I heated up some leftovers ( I knew he would want some). Half way through my lunch, H has still not come in yet, I think about saving him some then decide no, that is what the old Sherry would have done. So I ate it all.
A little while later, he comes in a asks did you eat lunch. I said yes. He asks what I ate and I told him. Then he asks if I ate it all and I said yes. He made a smart comment but proceeded to make his own lunch.
Tomorrow I am going to take the kids to Sunday school. This will be a 180 for me. H will go to church with us but not SS. He knows I will not be comfortable going to SS by myself (we always went together), so I am going anyway. My kids need to go and so I must get over my feelings and do this for them.
I guess I have decide that I may have to live without H one day, so I might as well start doing things now and make it easier on myself. Maybe it won't come to that, but I know I won't stay in this sitch forever. I will make a stand one day. It will be easier if I am more independent now than waiting. I do mostly everything for the kids anyway and most of the household things so that won't be a huge adjustment.
Whatever the reason, I have felt a lot better this week. I definately don't spend as much time worrying about H and ow as I did. I also have been prepping myself for any errand H may have this weekend. I am ready to smile and say okay.
Sorry for the long rambling post. Sometimes it helps to get stuff out.
