The kids have been the main part of my decisions. I look at their faces and don't want them to experience the pain of divorce. I was in highschool when my parents divorced and it hurt then even when I understood what was going on. I don't want my children to experience that.
I felt good yesterday, I hope that feeling lasts. Little things that always bother me didn't. This is silly but, we have some tv shows we watch together. Boston Legal is one of them. Last night it came on. H was in the back of the house in our bedroom and I was in the front picking up. I started watching it in the living room while H stayed in our room. Usually that would make me sad. Last night I just didn't care. After discovering this and being happy, he comes out on the first commercial to get something to eat and then stays in the living room. I guess the no expectations thing is true.
After the show, told H I was going to make a drink and he said he wanted one to. Well then he goes into the bathroom and stays there for a looong time. (he does that alot--I think he escapes in there and does texting--although he denies staying in there a long time). So I make me a drink and some nachos and throw in a movie I rented. He comes out, Hey you made nachos then wheres my drink? Usually I wait for him. He seemed surprised.
Anyway I hope to keep things like that up. Last week I started dinner without waiting on him to get home. I will keep doing that too.
I actually was doing a 180 before the bomb was dropped and didn't even know it. One thing he doesn't like is arguing over what is for dinner. We had this routine "What do you want? I don't care. What do you want? It doesn't matter to me" So I just started making the decisions and cooking before he even got home.
Lot of stuff to do today on my day off--let a lot of housework slide this weekend.
