Yes, I believe that "loving-distance" is exactly what I need to do. And,I also agree with your assumption that it would likely be very difficult for me to do. It goes against my personality to say the least. I tend to be very responsive and affectionate by nature.
Another thing about doing this is that it always works while I'm "acting lovingly disinterested" but as soon as I become "me" again, he's gone. It's as if I can't be who I truly am and still gain his affection. It's like life is one big game with him. I'm not really sure I want to live my life this way.
I want to be happy and I want to be married. I'm just not sure if it's possible to be both in this relationship.
You ask how successful I've been with implementing Dobson's principles. Overall, I'm a much stronger lady than I once was. I still have my moments of "weakness" when I sucumb to asking for H attention. This doesn't happen very often any more. I've experienced enough rejection, that I think I've finally had it beat into my head to NOT go there.
Thanks Nopkins for your willingness to help me. I appreciate your thoughts and suggestions. I'm enjoying the book. It enforces a lot of what I'm currently attempting to do. Thanks for the encouragement to read it.
Hi Lostlove,
I realize with husbands track record, infidelity is ALWAYS a possibility. Although I don't think so at the time, I wouldn't be surprised either. I don't think there is any denial going on here and if there is please feel free to point it out. I guess I'm tired of living my life always wondering if there is another.
I decided a while back to live "as if" there is no one else, until given good reason to know there is someone else. Otherwise recovery is impossible. Trust can never be built with someone who is forever questioning and accusitory in nature. It took me a long time to get to this point. Hopefully, I've achieved the balance of recognizing the very real possibility but living without the preoccupation of it. Thanks for your input.
