I've just started reading here a few weeks ago and decided it was time to post. I really appreciate the many suggestions and encouragement I've found here. I'm hoping there might be some ideas for my situation.

We've been married 17 years. My H has been unfaithful in the past. We were separated twice when there were OW in his life. The last separation was nearly four years ago. To the best of my knowledge, there are no OW in his life currently. Other than... (In the past month, he has spent a lot of time with his assistant) BUT, the lack of sex has been here for over a year, so I don't think she is a factor.

We are both healthy and in our late 30's - early 40's. H has a very successful business. We have three wonderful girls. I still love H and would love to have an intimate, loving M. H SAYS he loves me and wants to be together.

BUT, he has shown no interest in me sexually for over a year now. I am still the same size 4/5 and am physically fit. I do not know of anything significant taking place this past year that would lead to this lack of interest.

I have communicated my concern and desire for love-making. When I've asked H about his lack of interest, he's given very vague, seemingly unfounded reasons.

One time he said I've hurt him in the past. When I asked what I did, he said he didn't want to say. He said I'm no longer doing whatever it was. He ususally says he doesn't know why things aren't working.

I've asked if there is something physically wrong, and he has answered a very confident NO. He says a counselor or Dr. is not necessary, that he's working through things on his own.

Obviously, this is so hurtful and frustrating. Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.