I just wanted to say that I feel your pain in the LL area. I don't deal with it half as well as you though I'm learning. That's an obstacle isnt it? We want to save our M but then it might mean we don't have our needs met in the way we need by our S. I'm seeing that over and over in the posts I read where the WAS comes home. The WAS becomes content because we've changed and are meeting their needs and they think things are fine! I'm battling that with my H. I've always tried to meet his needs, and he says that's not the reason for our probs (he suffers from D). I asked him to leave because things became unbearable, then he admitted ILYBINILWY. Now that he wants to work on our R, he's trying to meet my needs the way he wants his met and it's not working! I'm feeling resenful and angry because I've told him what I need but he doesnt seem to "get it" or think it's that important. I should be happy we're together and our sitch is becoming more peaceful, right?
Anyway, if you figure out a way to encourage change, please post it! I think alot of us go through the same things and it's good to see what's working for others.
