Hi Stu! Yes, I tell him how much I like him. He says he feels the same way about me. Energy changed after twins were born. Less time. Lots of fatique. New demands. New roles. Finding time to sleep was a priority the first year after twins' birth. Then I guess we just got out of the habit of having sex we had before the kids.
Quote: Yes, I tell him how much I like him. He says he feels the same way about me. Energy changed after twins were born. Less time. Lots of fatique. New demands. New roles. Finding time to sleep was a priority the first year after twins' birth. Then I guess we just got out of the habit of having sex we had before the kids.
We too got out of the habit! Do you have time and energy now, and don't feel like it? I am afraid that will be us in a few years. Did you say "I don't love you, but like you" to your H? That seems unusual to me, is that a problem for you guys?
How much "sexiness" is there in your marriage? Do you and your H relate more as friends/buddies? If you're becoming the Bobsy twins, you need to find ways that will make you feel more sensual as a woman. You have established roles as parents and business partners, but what about "sexy woman" and "sexy man"?
When I began working on my sex drive, I would read erotic novels, take long baths, wear sexier clothes, get my hair blown out...I would "feel" the part. My H ( eventually) noticed. We started going out on dates and I'd ask him to make plans for us, have him open the door for me,things like that. He started getting the idea ( after my persistence) and then would do some things on his own, like bring home flowers or light a candle during dinner and shoo the kids away for a half-hr. I got him a chain to wear that I thought looked sexy and I play with when we ML...he has written a few cards, we both now make little efforts which set a sexier tone. With all the family pressures and our natural friendliness towards each other ( we started out as friends) it's easy for us to slip back...it really becomes a labor of love. He has already told me he is going to make dinner for Valentine's Day...that makes me tingly. Intimate conversations are great but you can be intimate with a friend...think passion and sex!
Thanks for your reply, IHJ. I'm talking about soul-mate convos. It's a big difference for me. It's a whole different dimension than the intimate convos I have with friends. But we have to have something to talk about that we don't already know!
My SO and I talked last night. We realized we may spend too much time together. Before kids we had time to pursue separate interests. Something to catch up on with each other. We didn't know everything that had happened to each other during the day. There was mystery. Newness to discover. We've become twins with each other. (I guess we're used to that arrangement!) So we're working on finding ways to be less of an open book to each other. Rediscover separate interests. Remembered when he had to go out-of-town for a death in his family. I got a chance to miss him. The spark flickered.
Thanks for your suggestions. You spent some time on it. I appreciate it. We do those things but the spark is dim. We've gotten used to each other. Even with normal romantic things. Lack of mystery.
