Boy I'd certainly love my H to "want me" too. Unfortunately I've come to understand that one simple word "want" can mean soo many things to each of us. In your H's case he probably means he wants you to desire him physically. What he probably doesn't understand is that by not doing those things that you used to find so attractive and endearing (flowers/dinner..whatever) that he's making himself less attractive to you.....and that's where the downhill spiral takes place. He stops doing what you like...therefore you eventually stop doing what he likes....then feelings can change...resentment takes the place of appeal/attraction etc.
This will not turn around overnight. Just like right now you can't snap your fingers and suddenly make yourself sexually attracted to your H. My gut is telling me that MUCH of this is a communication issue between the two of you.
I think you'll find through reading through many of the posts on here, especially for those people who have had any degree of success...that communication is the first thing that needs to be worked on before a couple can achieve true "intimacy". Have you and your H considered counseling? If not I would highly suggest it. That impartial 3rd party can come in so helpful when it comes to teaching the two of you to communicate clearly with each other...and hear each other.
I really do suggest this...put some thought into it.
