Quote: How do you explain that to him without screwing up his self esteem anymore?
Good question. Maybe I'm not the best person to give advice. For years, my H blamed his low sex drive on the fact that I was overweight. I didn't believe him because I was still reasonably attractive but finally I got desperate enough to just go ahead and do it. The problem is now that I lost the weight I sometimes feel like I don't want to be with someone who didn't want me just because I was a bit overweight. I don't respect him because it seems so superficial and I don't trust him because I figure if being overweight turned him off, he'll probably be turned off by wrinkles some day too. Besides, now that I've lost the weight he complains about things like the way I wear my hair.
What I'm trying to say is that even if your H went for the promotion and that actually did turn you on, he might feel resentful that he had to go to such trouble to turn you on. He might feel like you will always be dangling sex in front of him like a carrot he needs to work for.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
