Quote: So maybe not respecting him as a man has led me to not feeling attracted to him?
Maybe. Do you think that you might be more attracted to him if he at least had the self-respect to indicate in a mature fashion that he would no longer tolerate being in a relationship in which his sexual needs weren't being met? I guess I'm asking this because my low drive H seems to always get turned on when I get fed-up enough to say something like "Fine. You don't want me. There are plenty who will.". It seems to me that he is actually turned-on by my self-confidence in indicating this rather than feeling frightened into having sex because I might leave him. What if your H suddenly started a program of self-improvement, for instance, started working out or went for a promotion at work- would this turn you on? Do you think he needs to put more time/effort into your relationship to improve things or do you think he needs to put more time/effort into his own self worth to improve things? Is he too much of a jerk or too much of a wimp to turn you on? I know my problem was mostly that I was too wimpy but other HD types have discovered that they were mostly too jerky. In either case, since you are the spouse who is seeking help on this BB, you are the one who needs to be brave and confront your spouse about what specifically he might do to improve the situation. Of course, you need to figure that out for yourself first.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
