I am so desperate to change things for my husband and I. We have been married almost 6 years. We have gone from ML four or five times a week to 1 every three months or so. I have tried meds to bring my LD up but they didn't work. So, I decided to try and just do it because I was supposed to feel more sexual the more I did it. Problem is, I didn't. I think, I'm not sexually attracted to my husband. When he touches me I don't feel anything. Even when he kisses me I pull away because it feel like kissing a stranger. It's not that I don't feel sexual desire, I have an active sexual fantasy life, it's that I don't feel it for him. Why has my feelings changed so much?

I spent the better half of my young adulthood hopping from bed to bed trying vainly to convince myself that if I had sex with someone then I would be important to them. Finally, at some point I decided that I wasn't going to do that anymore and went on a five year celibacy. When DH and I met he showered me with the attention and caring that I was longing for. I made the decision that this was the person that I was going to share myself with. Everything was great for about two years. Then slowly, DH stopped the little things that I loved. No more notes, no more flowers, no more taking me to dinner. When I would ask him if there was a reason why he no longer did these things he would say he "just doesn't think about it". I felt myself shutting down. I have explained to him I need these things to feel close to him, to feel like I really matter. He said he would try and remember but it's like I might get a flower one evening and then he immediately expects to ML that night. Then the next week he'll say "see I tried and it didn't work."

So back to my original problem. I decided to open myself up to ML more often and felt nada. I didn't get aroused. He kept wanting to know what I wanted him to do. All I could think, is "get it over with" because I wasn't into it at all (I didn't tell him that I just told him "I don't know"). All the things that used to turn me on don't work anymore. I kept this up for about three months until he finally said something about me just lying there. First, I get yelled at because we weren't having sex enough, now I'm yelled at because I'm not doing it right. What am I supposed to do if I don't feel anything? Why is he so angry at me? What am I supposed to do now? Why is it so crazy that I'm not sexually attracted to my husband anymore? I mean there are others in my life that I used be sexually attracted to and now I'm not. Does not being attracted to your spouse mean you don't really love him?