I'm still confused on this issue myself. My LDH used to tell me I was too wimpy when I initiated sex. He actually said that I should order him into the bedroom rather than just requesting sex, but on other occasions he has told me that he feels like a "piece of meat" if I approach him too aggressively. I've tried everything from a gentle hug and saying "Would you like to cuddle?" to fondling myself in front of him and saying "I want you to f*ck me now." with varying degrees of success. I think focusing too much on technique when initiating is sort of like focusing too much on your physical attractiveness. If your spouse is in the mood you are going to look good enough and your initiation attempt will be engaging. If your spouse is not in the mood and they feel inclined to blame you for that fact then your sex appeal will come into question in many different ways.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
