Here are parts of an email that my sister sent me. I have told her about DR and she understands the princilples but has never read it. It makes me feel better when I read it and it can apply to alot of people here. Some is specific to my sitch but it may apply to others with internet affairs. Hope you can take something from it.
Quote: ow is just a play toy. She is not a contender. I would be beyond shocked if he left you for her. There relationship is cheap and built on immaturity. If he would stop to figure out what is real in life and what is really bothering him I don't think ow would fit in his plans.
Quote: I think H has lost some respect for himself. ow doesn't hold a candle to you. She acts desperate in my opinion. I can only imagine having an email relationship with a married man who is supposedly a long time friend and send the types of pictures she has. That would make me feel really low. She must not think much of herself. And if she knew what H was really up to (and if she stopped and really looked at it, she would) why in the world would she pursue this? There is absolutely nothing in it for her. H moving and taking you and the kids should tell her all she needs to know. I hate to say this but we already know a woman like this, X. Dating a married man for how many years who is never going to leave his wife. And why should he, he has both of them. I asked her once why she allowed herself to be used in such a fashion and she agreed that there is a no self-respect in this picture.
Yeah, I don't believe in ultimatums either but sometimes people only respond when they have no other choice. That's why I hope he figures this out on his own.
Just remember this ,Unsure, you are above this situation and I mean that. You are not the one stooping so low as to conduct yourself the way is. You are not stomping on peoples feelings, lying and acting as though you are better than anyone. So keep your principles, act like you have been and DONT buy into the blame game. His problem(s) far exceed anything you might have done in the past. I'm not saying he is hopeless but he certainly needs to get his head on straight and act like a solid respectable person.
Quote: As far as H and you, most people in life make foolish decisions from time to time. That's how I look at H's choices right now. It doesn't make him all bad. The test will be whether he decides to address it and stop it. I've made mistakes, you have, everyone has. We think we are invisible at the time and that no one can see it or judge it but the reality is they can. I look back and know I made dumb decisions and to this day I can't honestly say that I know why I did some things. I just know that I won't be doing them again. So I think thats when forgiveness can start when you see that he has made the right choice. Trust comes later.
