Re the phone: take the phone away from him and TELL him it has been cut off. That's not a lie, because YOU'RE cutting HIM off!
Then lock the phone in the trunk of your car or keep it at work or smash it with a hammer or something. Tell him if having a phone is that important to him, he has to get his own in his own name.
Girl, you're "yes-butting" this thing to death. Somethin's gotta give!
You're feeling totally powerless, and that's understandable. You can't reclaim all of your power at once, but you have to start somewhere. The discomfort you're feeling is a signal that you're getting fed up, and that's good.
As I usually recommend to someone in this sitch, visit a few alanon meetings. Even if your partner is not an alcoholic, you will hear people talking about reclaiming their lives and their power. You don't have to say anything. No one will talk to you or bother you. Just go and listen. No pressure. Let the love seep into you.
There's a big, wide wonderful world out there, and I think you're getting read to Break Out into it!
COgal wrote:
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would cost $200 to cancel the cell phone plan.
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So, cancel the contract, pay $200 or get H to come up with the $500.
If you are concerned about people having his number and he does not want to lose his number, he or you can transfer the number to a new service. It's called number portability. Cell phone providers have to transfer numbers upon request since about June 2004.
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Even though I've forced H to take financial responsiblity for some things (car payment, cell phone) by refusing to cover them, he doesn't contribute a cent to anything above and beyond those items.
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My kids tried this before they went to college. W and I did not let it happen. COgal, you do not have a H, you have a son and you are the mom. Do you want a man or a boy.
COgal, you have posted too many "yes buts." You will be in this BS (mother / son relationship) for a long time if you are afraid to stop people taking advantage of you. Marriage is not about marrying a mother to look after you. Marriage is suposed to be about being equal partners, sharing responsabilities, and working toward common goals.
